The Catechism Lessons of Children |
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January 16th, 2009 Children provide the most beautiful catechism lessons. I am ever amazed at how much they teach me! They are constantly illustrating the relationship between parent and child that mirrors so well our relationship with our own Heavenly Father. Watching them helps me see better what happens between us and our Heavenly Parents, helping me to see my own little tantrums with Them.
The latest lesson happened before Mass this past Sunday. As we were recollecting ourselves before Mass started, our daughter wanted to have the donation I put in the pew pocket in front of me. When I shook my head “no” wanting her to put aside distractions, I had no idea it would bother her so much! Immediately, she began to put up barriers, scooting down the pew and putting her coat between us, then scooting a little further and putting her missal beside her coat. Only the end of the pew kept her from putting more distance between us, and then as a final barrier, up went the folded arms! Oh dear. I almost wished I’d said “yes” to prevent her from feeling so rejected and hurt, but even so, her pain was only a symptom of an underlying sorrow which needed addressed, one we all share. By the end of the Mass, all was better, but it gave me such cause for reflection!
How often do we pray for things, and feel our requests go unheard? That they are ignored or even rejected by our Heavenly Father? “What is the problem? Is not my request a good one? Why in the world don’t I get what I ask for?” Do we as a result, turn away from our Mother, our Father, thinking “What is the point? They don’t listen! They never seem to give me what I want, even though what I want is very good! Just for instance, take so and so… why do they have to suffer so? Where is the good in all of that pain? It should be taken away! Yet there they are, suffering even after all of my prayers. What is the point?“
Do we grow upset with our Heavenly Parents, and distance ourselves, putting up barriers between Them and us? Barriers of doubt that They even exist or hear us? Barriers of despair in Their love for us? Barriers of anger that They do not understand or care for us as They should? Barriers of pride, questioning Their competence in discerning what is good for us? Or perhaps we put our hands over our ears, hearing Their answer, yet, as it conflicts with our desires, we turn away saying BLAH BLAH BLAH, trying to cover up the very sound of Their unwelcome “no”? Do we turn up the radio, the tv in this attempt to drown Them out? Do we turn to other answers that make us feel better, shopping, eating, sports? Do we spend most of our time speaking with friends who console us in these sorrows that seem so coldly received by heaven above? As a result, does our relationship with our Heavenly Parents mirror those more disagreeable human ones… those relationships which have grown distasteful? You know the kind… the ones where we occasionally run in and pay our respects and dash out again, getting it over with through a sense of duty but certainly not of love?
Looking back, I think our daughter just wanted to hold the donation, proud to be doing her part in giving. It was a very justifiable and good intention, and so that is probably why she responded with so much zeal in her rejection of me. Obviously, I did not have good judgment of her praiseworthy motives, so putting distance between such poor judgment and herself must have seemed a good choice to her childlike mind, and I can sympathize with that. Still, we must learn to deal with disappointment both gracefully and respectfully, and so there is a lesson to ponder for all of us.
Quite often, unlike our Heavenly Parents, we parents of human origin can do things a lot better a lot of the time! How many mistakes I make as a mom! Even as I see our children toiling to do a better job on the 4th commandment, so I see myself working in the very same area! Sometimes I think I am such a poor choice for this job, children do and say things that are so unexpected and I am so unprepared! Yet here we parents are, God’s representatives, placed there by Him to love and protect and guide our children in His ways as best we can. We can’t step down from the job just because we too often err ourselves. I find myself learning as much as my children do if not more. They are every bit my teachers as much as I am theirs, and we are constantly helping one another learn these lessons. Lessons of patience, of understanding, of kindness, of giving, of listening… A family is truly a very beautiful school when looked at in this way! I have so much to learn! I do not think there is a religious order more demanding of us physically or spiritually, or more capable of developing holiness, than that of the family! We mustn’t think that only priests and nuns and monks are called to a higher way of life!
And the first job of a parent, it seems to me, is to realize our most important job is to show our children they are not ours alone, but also Children of God and heirs of Heaven! Wow! Talk about true self esteem. As a result, our primary job must be to help them obtain their inheritance, and to point the way to their Heavenly Father and Home. I can only view myself as a sort of “temp” for Our Lady, their true Mother and teacher. Heaven forbid I take them down any other path, or teach them anything She would not! How terrible it would be if we were placed over the household of the King, and in neglecting His children they never grew up to enjoy their inheritance, but were lost in the surrounding forest! We can’t forget our children are His Children. So when we place ourselves in the Queen’s shoes, we see Her beckoning us to bring our children, Her Children, to join Her little Jesus in His Eternal Kingdom.
How do we best do that? This is how I see it. First, by doing everything I can to emulate Our Lady myself, and be as best an example I can be for them. It will be a life-long effort for sure, but a most worthy one! How many of us see the heroes and heroines of the movies, and go for that particular look? I did for years. That hairstyle that best defines us, that svelte figure, that outfit that most pleasingly accentuates it, the mannerisms… the very fashions of today are formed for us by them, yet as followers of Christ, we are called to look higher for our inspiration. If we don’t, what separates us from the world? One of the messages of Fatima which is almost entirely ignored today even amongst the best Catholics, is the fact that fashions would change which displease God very much. One has only to look back to that time, and see what changed, and make sure we didn’t.
I must help my children know little Jesus in every way I can, in the hopes that when they KNOW Him, they cannot help but LOVE Him. After all, how can we love someone we do not know? It is nearly impossible! We all know of that stranger who is suffering and we are asked to pray for, and we do for a moment then they are lost from our thoughts. How differently we treat the one we know well! We visit them, we bring them treats, we call them often. It is so much easier to think upon one we love, and as a result, we SERVE them, don’t we? In this case, service is shown by following the commandments, and brings them great happiness in this life and the next.
It is an uphill battle with the world around us as fierce competition trying to drag us down… All the while telling us it’s the only way to move up in life. It tells us what to wear, how to speak, what to do, and if we don’t we are often scorned or at least misunderstood. It’s quite all right to be a fan of football, but of God? Suddenly the term is lengthened into the negative fanatic, doesn’t it? That’s hard for an adult to deal with, let alone an impressionable child! God help us!
All the while, our Heavenly Father waits for us, hearing our every word, sometimes saying yes, sometimes saying no… always making those decisions that are best for us and our neighbor. If we will only trust in His plan for us! If we do not turn away, if we do not put up barriers, but submit our will to His Divine Will, knowing He loves us and desires our happiness above all things, how much happier we will be! How much joy there is with Him, when we get to know Him and love Him! A reward of faith is understanding, and only after we accept His “no” with a quiet “yes” will we come to see the wisdom in His answers.
If only my daughter will not scoot away the next time my answer conflicts with her desire. Please, may she know I love her even so! How a parent longs to see their children happy, yet we cannot achieve that by granting their every wish, can we? I can see now why our prayers are so often answered with a no… Only when we can accept “no” gracefully, are we made ready for the gratifying yes!
Oh dear Lord, forgive me for those many times I scooted down the pew when I didn’t get my way, and thought you did not care about me. Forgive me for those barriers I put up between us over the years. Forgive me for the times I put my hands over my ears and said BLAH BLAH BLAH. Help me and all of my brothers and sisters to gain that faith, and hope, and love in You and Your answers, and pass them on to our children! Amen.
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