As I sipped my cup of coffee this morning, trying to keep my eyes open and failing miserably, I became aware of the negative image of the room produced under my eyelids. How the light of the windows became dark, and the dark of the walls became light… exact opposites of the truth. That seemed a picture so fitting to the world we live in today.

When we have our eyes closed to the light as the world does, we see backwards.  What is light is dark, and what is dark is light. God ceases to exist, and man takes his place. Abortion and euthanasia and contraception become the way to save life.  Christ says to follow Him we must take up our cross, yet in the world the cross is viewed as an evil, and to be disposed of. Everything in our society aims at achieving an easier life, to make more profit as we do less… so we can get to our heaven of retirement a bit sooner. Right?

Do we have our eyes open to the light or are they closed and we are seeing backwards? I always thought mine were wide open, but so often I have shoved away my crosses, I realize now I share the view of the world more than I like to think.  I wondered then, if in the eyes of heaven, those crosses which seem so dark, so heavy, so undesirable, are in fact glowing with light and joy?

 This led to the next thought… we on earth are in battle, like it or not. We are members of the Church Militant, called to be soldiers of Christ.  Some jump in eagerly and enlist; embracing the Cross it glows and becomes light, and provides light for the world. But such soldiers are few and far between, and so the world stays mostly shrouded in darkness, lost in the negative.  Many desert, and take up the standard of the enemy.  Then there are those that are drafted, called to fight against their will… and I think I was one of those. I took the cross handed to me, but I did not want it, nor did I wave it proudly. I trudged along with it, doubled over under the weight, wearily wondering when the war would be over so I could go home. As a result, the Cross which Christ promises will become sweet and light didn’t. Why not? Because I was carrying it alone. It can only become light when we are united to Him! We must yoke ourselves to Him, a yoke being a crossbar, that unites two making them one.

“Come to me, all you that labour, and are burdened, and I will refresh you. Take up my yoke upon you, and learn of me, because I am meek, and humble of heart: and you shall find rest to your souls. For my yoke is sweet and my burden light.”

When we are carrying the Cross without Him, there is no sweetness or light, as He provides both.  So, how do we join our Cross with Christ? It seems to me, it is when we accept His will willingly and humbly, realizing our Heavenly Parent knows better than we do what is good for us. When we join with Him in the Garden of Gethsemane and say “Not my will, but Thine be done.” When we join with Our Mother and say “Fiat”.

Let us stop and look at the Crosses placed in our lives. Let us pray for the light to see them as the gifts they are. Our Lord calls us to become His Standard Bearers… He calls you. The illness which plagues you, the stresses of the workplace, the crying child in the middle of the night, the annoying neighbor with the barking dog… He calls you through each one. Will we join with Him and Our Mother with our “Fiat!” and find the light in the darkness? And finding the light for ourselves, will we glow with it for our neighbor so he too can find his way? Only when we do, will we find Christ, because where we find the Cross, we will find Christ. But we cannot see Him if we are blind with the world’s view of it.

Let us go to our Little Sister St. Therese, a most valiant soldier, a real green beret, and imitate her Little Way.  Let us pray her prayer, but I warn you, pray this only if you wish to willingly enlist in the army of God with all of your heart. Because God will answer you and fulfill your desire, but it will hurt terribly until you become fully conformed to Him. For me, it is happening through facing my fears… All that I fear the most is put upon my plate for breakfast, lunch and dinner!  I suppose because fear is opposed to the love of God.  If I remember correctly, even St. Therese’s own sisters would not join her in this prayer, fully realizing its implications. I was too ignorant to know any better!  

Once I figured out what was happening, I was deep in the jungle, and nowhere to go but straight ahead, so no turning back, though I tried.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you! And something I learn as I go along, is the biggest problem I repeatedly face is trying to do this on my own. There is no way to walk this path in pride, we get totally lost then and go in circles. I don’t even know I’m lost until God graciously sends a hungry tiger to scare me back to His path, which forces me to stop being lazy and pray hard for help.  We have to become very little like our little sister in order to walk this path. How do we shrink?  Mostly by accepting what God gives us no matter what, with a smile and a thank you, tasty or yucky, realizing He is teaching us little. And then the neatest thing begins to happen. When we stop bopping along independently, when we are too little to walk on our own, when we turn to Him with trust and not a tantrum, He scoops us up in His arms, and does all the work! But we have to stay little in trust and abandonment to our will, happy with His company and nothing else, or we find ourselves quickly distracted, struggling to be let down, so we can go and play with that shiny toy over there. Next thing you know… hungry tigers. At least that is how I see it. God loves each of us uniquely, so maybe it will be different for you.