Ask Padre Pio

A few years ago I was able to go on a pilgrimage to many holy sites in Italy. One of the stops was San Giovanni Rotondo, the home of Padre Pio. Of course I’d known of Padre Pio my whole life, but he seemed such a great saint, what with all that bi-locating and bearing the stigmata, I guess I felt alienated from him. How could someone like him have time for someone like me, you know?

Oh my! How stupid I am sometimes. As soon as we arrived there and prayed at his tomb, I knew he was great because he understood little so well! He is a priest still very much alive amongst us, a most caring and compassionate priest, and that he is especially there for the littlest, most lost souls like mine. Immediately I threw myself at his feet, and asked him to become my spiritual father, and I knew he heard me.

While there, I picked up his three volumes of letters, which he had written. I had no idea he was well known for his spiritual direction, but it was so evident in these volumes! It seemed as if every problem I was having, he addressed in there, in such beautiful and simple language! I cannot express to you the great consolation these letters gave me. They were like a balm on my rough, chapped soul!

It is hard today to find spiritual direction from a priest… they are so overwhelmed with their duties, their own problems, that usually they refuse to add you to their list! I have spoken with many of you who are in this boat, and so I highly recommend you to go to Padre Pio. He has promised to be there for you, and wants to father you. In fact, he has said he will not enter the gates of heaven, until every one of his children enters ahead of him, so do you see how much he loves you?

If you would like to read his volumes of letters, you can order them from the National Center for Padre Pio in Barto, Pa. (610) 845-3000 They are somewhat pricey, about $100.00 for the set, and often you have to wait months to get them as they are quite high in demand… but for me, they were well worth the price.

Looking back, I was especially suffering at the time from judging myself through the eyes of others. It is hard to see oneself accurately, and so I would look to people around me to gauge where I stood with God. I do not mean the people of the world so much, their opinions rolled like water off of my back usually… I mean people who professed to love God and serve Him. These people represented God to me. When they thought well of me, I thought well of myself, and assumed God did too… and when they frowned at me, I was depressed over myself, and thought God was frowning too. The thought of God frowning upon me was just horrible! To desire His good pleasure and see what I thought was His disgust was hell upon earth! So I was like a reed blowing in the wind, depending upon how I was viewed that day, and going back and forth like that was making me literally seasick!

Through listening to Padre Pio, prayer and Adoration, I learned to mostly stop looking at myself at all, and to keep my eyes fastened upon Christ only. That to stare at oneself and ones sins, is paying homage to them and not Our Lord! Look at Him! Look at His Mercy! Glory be to this God who loves us so! Only keep our eyes upon Him in Faith and Hope and Love and Obedience, and with Peter we will walk on water to Him. Take our eyes away, concentrate on the waves of self, of neighbor, of our sins or theirs… and we will drown in them!

Another ill I was suffering from at the time, was rejecting the very medicine God was giving to heal me. The medicine was being provided in the crosses I encountered, but I didn’t want them, and I pushed them away. One of my biggest crosses is when I encounter any sort of conflict. Instead of facing it, I would walk away from it, because I couldn’t find peace and calm in this environment. I have always been one of those people that would give my cloak away if someone wanted it bad enough, to make the arguing stop, as peace was much more valuable to me than the cloak. I even prided myself on this as being a charitable side of me, but God was showing me sometimes it is a great cowardice. Sometimes out of charity, we must stand our ground, and help others see such selfish behavior is harmful to them. We must learn to be both firm and gentle, a combination possible only when we live in humility and the true peace which the love of God gives.

As a result of my fear of conflict, I was not a very good employer. I was often afraid to be in charge and have to face ruffled feathers, and if I stood my ground, I did it with irritation as I was so uncomfortable with the entire process. I was also not a good mother, as one thing I quickly realized, is children are little balls of conflict! “Mom! He’s hitting me!” “Mom, she’s biting me!” Oh heavens! I pushed them out the door and hid from them a lot of the time, or if I faced their conflicts I did it with anger because they were stealing my peace of mind. So I viewed them as impediments to peace, rather than the means to arriving at a true peace, which is love and is never ruffled no matter. So when I was in San Giovanni Rotondo, and I asked Padre Pio to read my soul as I prepared for confession there, and show me what most displeased God in me, I was smacked on the head with "You need to love your children better!" and I began sobbing, because I saw how I was pushing them away, and I suddenly wished I could return home to them, instead of enjoying the rest of the pilgrimage. And upon my return, I soon found Dr. Richmond, who helped me see better how to face my anger and my fear of conflict, which had been keeping me from them! See how it works? So now I am able to see better the precious souls that God has put around me, so beloved of Him, and that I can not love Him, if I do not love them as He does! Only when I love and value them and see Him in them, do I love Him! Isn't He beautiful in His ways?

I don’t know where your spiritual ills lie, but pray, and ask Padre Pio for his help, and if you persevere in this, I trust you will find healing. And he has promised that when he takes you, he takes your whole family! But we must do our part, because he doesn’t appreciate lazybones, who won’t take advantage of confession, and the basic means to spiritual health. Let us do our part, and he will help us find our way out of the woods and up the hill to Christ!