One God, One Voice. How come so many contradictions?

A person very dear to me, who has been very distant for most of my life, has recently “found God”, and in her excitement, has shared her findings with me. They are the basic fundamentalist beliefs that the best protestants hold to, and so though we agree on some things, there is the bashing of heads when it comes to Our Lady, the Priesthood, the Sacraments, Sola Scriptura, and so on. The usual misconceptions that we Catholics believe and do things we neither believe nor do, or if we do, it is not in the manner they suppose.

However, I’m not writing this as an essay on apologetics… instead, I am contemplating how it is that good people when they find and hear God, see and hear so many contradicting versions of Him? Yet most seem quite sincere, and so as I listen to them, I go away pondering this question in my heart. “Lord, you are One God, One Truth… how is it we arrive at so many variations of Your Word, when You speak with One Voice?”

The answer? What we hear depends upon what lies within our hearts. If our hearts are proud, His word becomes muddied by our pride. Just as if we were to drop a piece of pure white bread into a mud puddle. When we pick it up, it is no longer white, but has absorbed the grime. So it is with His Word.

Even as He spoke with One Voice to the crowds that listened to Him, it was received in varying ways, dependent upon the state of heart of the listener. The Pharisees heard words that inflamed their hearts with hatred and a desire to kill Him and His followers, even as His disciples heard the same words and were filled with great joy and love of God and neighbor. Then there are the myriads of people who fall between these two extremes.

It seems to me, that many good people, when they first encounter the Word of God, are filled with joy, because His Voice streams like the light it is, into the darkness of their soul. What wonder! There is a great happiness that we are not alone, that we are loved by our Heavenly Father! However, if we are not careful to receive His word with humility, it becomes distorted, and is instead absorbed into whatever disorder lies within, so that instead of His pure truth, we now have a mixture of Him and self, a sort of hybrid of the truth.

Imagine the first rays of light which enter a room in the dawn. Vague shapes can be made out, and we arrive at a conclusion as to what they may be. That appears to be a lamp, and over there a couch full of pillows. Here is a table, there a vase of roses, or so we suppose. In the dim light, there is no dirt to be seen, no disorder. And for one who has been held in a prison of absolute darkness until now, any amount of light seems great! Not having seen the sun at noonday, they suppose this is as bright as it gets, and they rejoice at this wonderful gift of sight! Now, as the sun continues to rise, it begins to reveal more. The first thing we notice is the windows are very dirty, and there are cobwebs all over the place. This is disheartening to us. Many of us rush and close the blinds, as we don’t wish to see more, it is too uncomfortable. We rejoice in the bit of light we have, and we stay there. We wish to share it with all we meet, and are disheartened if they do not see as we do. We often reject their company, and return to those who share the same light we have, as this is a comfortable place. We assume those who do not see as we do, must still be living in that darkness which was ours prior to being enlightened… and so we pray for them to see as we do.

Isn’t this the prayer of the Pharisee? “Lord, I thank thee that I am not like other, sinful men…” Yet, it is a prayer many of us pray. As a result, we stay in our comfortable yet dim little room, and make little progress. Imagine if we all prayed as did the publican! He saw not the dirty windows of others, but his own, and by bowing his head in humble acknowledgement, he progressed into greater light.

In the spiritual life, we find, the closer we get to God, the more we see our sinfulness. Humility acknowledges our sins, and this raises the blinds. Humility washes the windows, and allows greater light to flow into the dim recesses of our soul. As this light increases, it reveals more and more all that is in disorder. Oh dear! We have all seen the swirling dust in the air that only a ray of light reveals. And the dust bunnies that hide in the corners, and the dirty dishes that in dimmer light, appeared to be a bouquet of flowers. Oh my! What to do? This is where most of us run and hide like Adam and Eve in the garden, ashamed of ourselves. In our confusion, we hide from God, and clothe ourselves in lies. We exclaim when He finds us. "I didn't do it! I'm not so bad, it's her fault!" And we close our eyes to the truth. Preferring our blindness, we turn our backs on God and the Paradise He created for us, and choose instead a world of darkness. Here we thought God was enjoying our company and pouring His light into our souls because we are so clean and good, and here we see our dirt! How can this be? It is too much for our pride.

However, if we don’t back away into our comfortably dim world, we will see clearly that God does not love us because of how wonderful we are, but because of how good and merciful He is! He loves us even as we love our child with the soiled diaper drooling peas and smearing them on the wall!

So how do we know where we stand in the spiritual room of life? The best thing to do is not to ponder that at all, trusting instead that when we bow our heads and acknowledge our sins, Our Heavenly Father will take us by the hand, and show us what to do. But be ready! Quite often what He wants us to do, is not what we want to do at all! Sometimes we have to go to school, sometimes we have to eat spinach."Thy will be done". If we don't close our eyes to His will, He will pour the light into our souls,and imperceptibly, the dawn becomes midday. He will show us how we must dust and clean, He will point out that the pillows on the couch are not pillows at all, but grandpa, and he needs breakfast. But only if we don’t close the blinds! How do we know if we’ve closed the blinds? When we are busy thinking upon the speck in the eye of our brother, yet we cannot even see the boulder in our own. Believe me, it's there. And God loves us in spite of it! But if we refuse to see it, then realize there is a whole world of things we aren't seeing along with it.One thing is certain. No matter where we may be in our spiritual life, there is always more light to be had, and progress to be made, and our Heavenly Father wishing to bestow it on us. But only humility will open that door, as the light reveals more and more that only God is good, and we are nothing.

Now that we can see a bit better, let us return to the side of the publican together and join in his prayer:

“O God, be merciful to me a sinner. Amen.”